Beth's ruptured spleen.
Things You Can’t Unhear Thursday Once, my mom told me a story about her first husband that I’ll never unhear.  Apparently, when he was a horny teenage virgin, his friends told him that a “pig feels just like a woman.”  So, yeah, he went to a farm late one night and fucked a pig, as you do.  And actually told my mom.  And she married him.  And raised his little piglet children.  Joking, they weren’t piglets.  In fact, she abandoned me when I was 5 years old to go live with him and his family, but I’m not bitter about it, whatever!  Every now and then I think about this.  Usually during quiet, introspective moments.  At funerals.  At petting zoos.  In the supermarket when I’m buying bacon.  Ain’t that some shit?

Things You Can’t Unhear Thursday

Once, my mom told me a story about her first husband that I’ll never unhear.  Apparently, when he was a horny teenage virgin, his friends told him that a “pig feels just like a woman.”  So, yeah, he went to a farm late one night and fucked a pig, as you do.  And actually told my mom.  And she married him.  And raised his little piglet children.  Joking, they weren’t piglets.  In fact, she abandoned me when I was 5 years old to go live with him and his family, but I’m not bitter about it, whatever! 

Every now and then I think about this.  Usually during quiet, introspective moments.  At funerals.  At petting zoos.  In the supermarket when I’m buying bacon.  Ain’t that some shit?

Posted 5 months ago
28 notes
  1. nikenji said: “…as you do.”
  2. jhfos said: Yeesh. Poor thing. At least, should you ever write a book, that’s a pretty memorable story
  3. soozy1965 said: Yep, that is most definitely some shit!
  4. siouxdonnem posted this